By OREVA GODWIN
Politics is a crazy and sometimes, deadly game. It can make or destroy you. Machiavelli wrote in his book, “The Prince” that “it is better, for a Prince to be feared, than to be loved”. A lot of humans function by fear and not love. Politics is like an arena of gladiators; only the strong wins. The game is full of strength, Machiavellianism et al.
For women, it’s a different kind of game altogether. You have to fight with your fellow women that are in constant competition with themselves and the male folk. Of course, most of the the men are sexists who constantly sexualise women. A very inconducive place for a woman to operate in.
Most women have had to endure sexist fathers who believe that female education is a waste and concentrate more on the boy child education. Most of those women were however lucky to have mothers who refused to see female education as being a waste, even though they were not privileged to go to school themselves. The mothers struggled to train the women to secondary school and even up to higher education in some instances.
In the university, women face sexual harassment from the lecturers. After that, they have to face the real world, with countless sexual harassments. A woman’s life is constantly sexually harassed. Which is sad, but we are strong and resilient in nature. We keep pushing hard and endure all the bad experiences.
I once worked in a radio station, We had a program every Saturday morning named, “Political X-ray”. It was an interesting program and I fell in love with politics. I developed passion for politics and craved to make a difference. I wanted to be a voice for the people. But my passion was triggered by the political gladiators who came on air and muttered gibberish . I was so disappointed in their views and policies and wanted to be a voice and make a difference.
In furtherance of my ambition, I took a bold step and relocated to my present location. Since I had an uncle who is a big name in the political arena, I felt being on the right path. But, when I told my uncle my dreams, he immediately debunked it, and said: “Oreva, go and marry. I won’t support you. Politics is toxic. You won’t cope,. You’re too soft for the game”. I stood up, left and told myself: “I won’t give up”.
As I started connecting to people politically, I came to realise what my uncle meant. I registered under a political party and started attending rallies and campaigns. That’s when I fully understood the import of what my uncle meant. One morning we were called for a meeting and all the top political gladiators in the State, were present and the party leader spotted me and then it happened.
He called me out, and I stood up. He asked: “You go fit work? Because you too dey flashy. This place no be fashion parade oo. Na for people wey dey serious to work, you go fit?”. And I replied in the affirmative. He handed me over to the man seated next to him, that he was from my local government, and that I should work under him. I got the man’s number and called him the next day.
When I called the man and introduced myself, he asked: “Oh, the fair, fine girl?” I was immediately destabilised. He asked further, “where are you?” And I answered, “in my shop, though I will be leaving for the office soon”. He asked where I was working and I told him. Then he exclaimed: ” You’re a big girl oo, I thought you were not working or just run online business”. He wondered aloud: “so how will I be seeing you? You will be too busy for me”. I was perplexed at the man’s views. He did not ask how I would work for the party, with my busy schedule. Instead, it’ was about how to see me?. He later told me to come to his hotel to see him. But I was clear, “we will meet at the restaurant” and he obliged.
I got to the hotel, went straight to the restaurant and called him up. As soon as he walked in, he told me: “let me be blunt with you. I like you and I want to be your man. Once I date you in this State, any man in politics that hears that you’re my girl, will stay clear from you. I will protect and push your political career. But if you refuse to date me, count me out, I will never support you politically. You’re on your own. So think about it”.
I was bewildered and in disbelief. I just stood up, thanked him and left. It’s been three years now. I have not dialled his line. When elections were over, I called our topmost leader and told him: “I have worked. I want to know my fate”. He called me up for a meeting and to my shock he told me: “you want make I touch you?” I was confused, cause he presents himself as a man of God,. So, I asked him: “Ose (father), na anointing you want to give me?” He looked perplexed. “Anointing?”. I continued: “As you be man of God na. Maybe you won lay hand on me”. He replied: “You won date me?”. I was sick to my stomach. I told him, “but I see you as my father”.
The topmost leader persisted and said, “leave that thing, Think about it and call me back”. I left his presence. I was so irritated and told myself, if this was what it took to be in politics, then I’m done. I was determined to get to wherever I wanted on my own terms and not by any man’s terms. Strangely, when I told a friend my encounters he laughed and said: “list the names of women in politics and tell me how many didn’t compromise to get to where they are now”. He said that out of 100% only 20% of women did not use their body to get to where they are.
Looking at the Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan and Senator Godswill Akpabio saga, it shows the sad reality of women in politics. It was one of the reasons I gave in one of my articles “why women cheat” The quest for power and how men in power enjoy sleeping with married women and in exchange give them appointments, power, political protection, contracts and money were all in the said article.
If Natasha had played to Akpabio’s tune, we won’t have heard about it. He won’t have stood down her motion in the red chamber. These men in politics, makes it look like a woman’s career is in their hands. They play god in women’s lives.
It’s about time women stopped acting cheap and easy to get. Have respect for your body and for your marriage. We talk about gender equality, yet we don’t place ourselves high enough. We are easily accessible to the men. Not every opportunity is an opportunity for you to knock on. There is dignity in not being easy to get. Yes, there are women that are more beautiful, intelligent, rich and classy who give out their bodies to climb to the top. But you won’t want to be counted among them.
Women should learn to say no to these lecherous men. Sex is meant to be enjoyed. It should take place by your choice and not a form of trade by barter. Stop looking at every man in a top position as a ladder to greatness. You are your own ladder. Strive to climb to the top on your own. Stop chasing short cuts.
The reason why Akpabio may have boldly showed his advances towards Natasha, even with the knowledge that she is married, was probably because it’s no his first. He may have alleged been doing so without being caught. And it had worked for him for years.
Once you sleep with one, know you are for all. These political gladiators are not enemies as portrayed in some online platforms. In politics, there are no friends. No foes, either. They sit and drink together and discuss everything, including what happens in the bedrooms. They go as far as showing pictures of the women they had fun with, including the women in politics. So if you sleep with Okon, Kunle, too, will definitely want a taste and can promise to ruin your career if you disagree. And the circle never ends.
Yes, it’s good to be ambitious and create a legacy for yourself, but what image are these men creating for the young upcoming female politicians? That it’s an unsafe place for women? That we need to sleep our way to the top? And the women in politics, what are they telling the upcoming female politicians? That the only way to the top is to compromise?
Women have the right to their body and have the right to get to the peak of their career base on merit and hard work. No, is not “I will think about it”. As women, let’s drop envy when our fellow woman climb to the top. Let’s clap our hands for them and raise ourselves at the top. Women deserve to be at the top, just like men.
